Well, here we are. Too little too way too late, but a warped sense of time will do that to you. I could have written this minutes after, the day after, or a week after the race was called and still say the same things. But with the Trump administration finally accepting the transfer of presidential powers after a desperate and tiresome battle to deny the loss, I decided now feels like the right time to write a reflection on the past 12 months. This definitely wasn't the result of me watching time slowly slip through my fingers like freshly soaked sand only to frantically post something on December 31.
There wasn't much of a calm before the storm. Truth be told, I can't tell what part of the storm we're weathering right now. My best weather report concludes that it's all been an unseasonably relentless, severe downpour with no end in sight. We made it through the 4 years that was 2016, but that led us to 2020, a stronger, more fearsome beast no scripture could have ever prophesized. It doesn't feel right calling this period the eye before the storm or calm after the storm (I know that's not how the phrase goes). Since Biden will not be sworn in until January 20, I guess we'll be hanging out in this quarantined purgatory.
I'm not sure what to make of this election afterglow, despite it already being the end of the year. My first thought was "He's no longer going to be referred to as President Trump. He looks so much better with that 'former president' title." But of course Trump's bullheaded refusal to concede as well as taking on the new duty as The Boy Who Cried Fraud makes this transfer of power anything but peaceful. He's keeping that presidential title as long as he can, so I guess he's not writing this off as a business loss.
Trump may have lost the popular vote (twice), but 70 million Americans still voted for him. What percentage voted by party affiliation and which because his supporters carry the same fervidity as K-pop stans, I do not know. Trump widened a divide between the country, and his presidency continually reflected that, encouraging alt right spores to ooze out of the country's woodwork in no large part due to trump's sideways and vile rationalizations of those hate groups that threaten America's progress.
What's the reaction? Are we tired? Stressed? I mean, yeah. Most people are. Regardless, I am so curious to know what the environments are like in places other than my own apartment. An eerie stillness in the wake of battle similar to my tiny liberal arts college campus in 2016? Poppin' bottles hootin' and hollerin'? Poppin' bottles hootin' and hollerin' at a bar with no mask for completely different, apolitical reasons? Anger, demands for a recount, cries of fraud and cheating? Stronger, more relentless praise for a man that polarized this country like no other? Is it relief? An exhale of "Oh, thank God I don't have to care about politics anymore?" As much as I'd like to do that, there is no undoing all that has happened this last year. What I want to say is "Can't we just make politics boring again? I want to go back to not knowing things." I know it's closeminded to think that way, and there's no excuse for ignorance.
The White House often felt like a temp agency with my personal favorite Trump temp worker being Anthony Scaramucci. Every now and then I'll read this article from The New Yorker detailing his breakdown over news tweeted by the journalist. It all gives off mean girl rumor mill vibes, and I was living for it since I hardly took Trump's first presidential year seriously. Since then, the 24 hour news cycle truly lived up to its name and garnished with routine monotony. Every day on social media feeds included a confounding Trump tweet, a summary of the digs late night hosts made about the president, some hard hitting journalism that made rounds for a day and viral tweet ending with "That's it that's the tweet." If you had told me I would care, let alone know who Anthony Scaramucci is or understand the intricacies of the executive orders Trump wanted to pass, I'd probably say something like "There's no way. I'm too busy watching Vines." How time flies.
Now we've nearly made it with only one holiday left in 2020. This New Year's feels especially worth celebrating given that the virus showed up at the end of last year and has changed people's lifestyles immeasurably beginning 1/1/2020. There's a lot to look back on, so I'm not even sure what needs reflecting. My "new normal" has fortunately left me devoid of only a social life and a long distance relationship roadblock. I'm grateful to have kept my job with the ability to work from home, live close to family, and even have access to ordering groceries online for pickup, which, shoutout to essential workers. Grocery workers, servers, healthcare staff, and mailmen should be allowed to say fuck. Raise their pay too, but after this year, we should let that Outback Steakhouse server swear at a customer. They deserve it.
The truth is I'm not sure how to reflect on this year. It's not like everything that happened in 2020 becomes null and void at the stroke of midnight (a girl can dream). I guess I'll just continue to do my part and avoid people and large gatherings like the plague, although I guess that term doesn't hold water anymore. In between doing that, I will patiently wait to receive that vaccine, even if they're on the verge of expiring due to the slow rollout of the distribution. This comes as no surprise given the United States' delayed response to the pandemic in general, but that's a story for another day, or another year, or a 60 Minutes special.
Stories like those remind me that hard truths can hide in hope, yet it's tough finding hope in the hard truth. Yes, 2020 was one hell of a year (emphasis on hell), but we can hope that 2021 will bring on good news, more progress toward a vaccine, a return to normalcy. It felt like for every piece of good news came with an evening of doomscrolling. We finished this year. We made it. You made it. Even if it left you in a downward spiral suffering, you're here. I hope you are. Three cheers and dammit, we got through all of last year.